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The Unitarian theme for this month is “Widening the Circle of Love”. This got me thinking about love and how in my book, Why Love Heals, I attempted to define what love is and how it could literally heal, such as I concluded in my research with cancer.

In a word, I concluded that love could be defined as compassion. In two words, harmonious action. In the end I described love as the natural, inherent energy and “glue” that flows through and connects everything in the universe.

Everything is connected. Quantum physics has now given us the science to understand this truth. That’s when I got to thinking about the idea that the earth belongs to everyone and the need for respecting and caring for all of life.

Recently I read an article from the Harvard Law Review about the rights of nature and rights of animals. Currently, seven countries have legally recognized the rights of nature, including the U.S. (although usually on a local or tribal level, or the rights of ecosystems through local legislation or ordinances). The article concluded that the “Rights of nature call for some major changes in the way that humans live in the world” and the “Rights of animals impact fundamental questions such as what humans eat and drink, what they wear and what kinds of entertainment they engage in, to name just a few.”

The Bible proposes that humankind has “dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that crept upon the earth” (Genesis 1:26-28). One interpretation of these verses is that when God gave humanity dominion over the animals, it was in order to care for, tend to, and use those animals to their fullest potential in a just manner.

This contrasts with other Biblical statements and the fact that all major religions believe that we are one with God, and that “God is no respecter of persons.” Dominion means rule or power over. God rules over no one. God (love, Source, the life Force, Qi, or by whatever other name) is in all equally. All are “precious in His/Her sight.” We are all gods and sons and daughters of the Most High. We are all a thread in a grand scale tapestry. What happens if you pull a thread?

Surely it is within reason to believe that nature has the intrinsic right to exist and deserves protection. Yet populations of animals have declined 70% since the 1970’s due to climate change, which is human – caused, primarily through the burning of fossil fuels and the warming of the planet. The mining of coal, natural gas, and oil has exploited the earth for personal or corporate gain with great disdain for nature, animal rights, and human well-being.

Corporations have been granted “personhood”, and believe and practice that what is best for profits and shareholders is equally or more important than what is best for humanity, the environment, etc. Even our regulatory agencies charged with serving and protecting the public have become corporate, profit, and power controlled. A very sad example of this is how our healthcare system ranks last among all industrial countries. An even more maddening example is how guns have been given greater rights than women and children. And don’t get me started about the overt restriction of voter’s rights – as though one group is more right and deserving than another.

The current black comedy and satire movie, Don’t Look Up, has managed to encapsulate well our inaction in the face of a climate change disaster now facing us all. While the movie swings “from bleakness to silliness to realism,” it is a clear indictment of corporate greed even in the certain fate of world destruction. Hopefully, it helps to heighten our awareness about how a capitalist society often places corporate interests before humanity. What’s it going to take to get this message across?

In what might seem like a huge twist in this narrative so far, I want to conclude by saying that our current greed and self-centeredness is not “wrong”, but to propose that this is a time of great spiritual growth and transition. We are in the process of maturing from war, poverty, discrimination, and environmental destruction – to the maturation of the human species.

We are here for each other, and to give dignity and respect for all of life. We are not here to conquer nature, but to align with and contribute to nature. Our thoughts of “might is right” are an insult to our Divine Nature. Indeed, sin is the denial of our divinity. We are artistic implements of a Divine Artist.

Everyone has gifts to give to the world that contribute to the collective. Everyone. What is your gift? What brings you joy and satisfaction? This is your gift. And this gift-giving brings you more ease and joy, which further allow well-being to flow into so-called miracles and soul-satisfying synchronicities.

There is hope. There is promise. You are not alone. You have one foot in the physical, but always have the other foot in the spiritual realm. Fear is a natural response to life-threatening challenges, but even fear is part of Spirit’s perfect plan for our spiritual growth.

I have been assured in my many meditations and channeled conversations that Spirit guidance and assistance are always given with great love. There are no mistakes. Pray and meditate and trust this guidance. All is well. Peace will follow. Have great gratitude for this knowing. It’s all alright!

Turn off the T.V. when bad news appears. Be positive. Find humor. Listen to music. Get out into nature! Widen your circle of love. All is God/Source manifesting in form. The earth belongs to everyone.

Nature is the purest form of love. Nature and nature’s beauty are a stunning example of how we can all live together in perfect harmony. There is no animosity in any form of nature. Everything is one whole and intimately connected. Indeed, wholeness could be defined as being one with nature. Love for all of life and respect for others’ rights and dignity (no matter who and what they are) is ultimately all we need.

There are several synonyms for the word “intention”: plan, aim, objective, design, purpose, goal, resolve, and determine. In my last talk and article about “joy” I raised the question, “Why do you want to live or live for? Another relevant question is: Do you believe life serves a purpose? and, if so, what is it? Many people don’t give this much thought until much later in life, and then before you know it, you’re running out of time. Of course, it’s not too late, but…

If you believe life doesn’t serve any particular purpose, your life may be much simpler. If you think you have one time around on the merry-go-round and then “lights out”, the simple reasoning would be to make the most of whatever time you have left in your human life. And even if you believe life does serve purpose, this is still a pretty good idea.

I propose there is also a strong rationale for living a virtuous life (loving, kind, compassionate, etc.) because you reap what you sow. This is not just a religious or spiritual maxim; it is a scientific truth. Quantum physics has determined that you create your reality with your every thought, feeling, emotion, action, and intention. All you see in your world is a mirror or reflection of yourself.

How do you see the world? What is your intention for it? For you?

Lynn Mctaggart has studied, researched, and written about the power of intention extensively. Her clear conclusion is that thought and intention are a tangible energy. Thought is a thing that affects other things. She implores us to pay attention to our thoughts and intentions – for they create our life circumstances.

My own study, research, and practice firmly support the power of the mind or mind over matter. You can use your thoughts intentionally, through any number of “deliberate intention” techniques such as hypnosis, guided imagery, prayer, affirmations, etc., as a very powerful way to take back control of your life. You can read much more about this in my books, Doctor’s Orders: Go Fishing and Why Love Heals.

As I reflect now about this time of year: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year, I find it a time to be grateful for all our bounty, family, and friends. It’s also a time to celebrate the birth of a great teacher who came to remind us of the power we have to create a life of greater harmony. It’s a time to look forward and create resolutions for what we want in the new year.

What do you want? What do you intend?

As I’m writing this, I intuitively hear the song, “My Grown-Up Christmas List”

No more lives torn apart

         That wars would never start

                 And time would heal all hearts

                Everyone would have a friend

              And right would always win

                         This is my grown-up Christmas list.

                        (Lyrics by Linda Thompson)

This past week I also read a quote by the Dalai Lama, “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” I would love for you to sit down now and consider your life purpose. What do you choose to create? Take your time and visualize it. Use your imagination, intention, resolution, and determination to create the life of your dreams. I pray you fulfill your life purpose perfectly.

I believe some of the most important questions we could ever ask are: Why do you want to live? How do you want to spend the time you have left? What makes your heart sing? What brings you the greatest joy and meaning in your life?

I was very fortunate early in my career to intern and work with Dr. Carl Simonton and the Simonton Cancer Center. Dr. Simonton was a true pioneer in developing a more psychological approach to cancer care, and this was based on an important observation he made about his patients.

Medical care essentially is based on a medical diagnosis. Once physicians know your diagnosis, they know what to do to treat you. However, what Dr. Simonton observed is that patients with the same diagnosis, getting the same treatment, in fact, can have very different outcomes. Those who had a stronger “will to live” were doing better and living longer than patients who showed a greater apathy, depression, and attitude of giving up. Thus, he developed and taught a program, where he encouraged patients and their families to find their own unique song to sing and to be more of who they really are, and that took them in the direction of their greatest joy.

This culminated in my position as Director of Psychological Services for a physician management group of cancer centers, where I developed, taught, and researched a wellness-based program for cancer patients and their families, with a decided emphasis on the will to live. I found that people really responded well to the adage, “When you’re busy doing something you like to do that you tend to forget your aches and pains.”

But no matter how much common sense and research I gave them about how a strong “will to live” could affect their health, they thought taking time for themselves to do what gave then the greatest enthusiasm for life was too selfish. Their moral, social, and cultural conditioning had taught them that everyone and everything else should come first. I found that there’s a strong tendency for people to believe that doing for others is much more appropriate than creating a balance between taking care of themselves (that’s the selfish part) and taking care of others. It was more appropriate to work than to play and have fun.

Eventually, I convinced them that they needed to take time to seriously consider their interests, needs, and values – and reprioritize their lives. Together we discovered that in the end what we all wanted most in our lives was peace of mind. When we thought about how to achieve this, we discovered that we did so when we were doing what we loved most. And this would also be instrumental in our relationships with others. We realized we were nicer to live with and work with when we took time for ourselves. This was not selfish! It was good sense and another way to improve our health.

I also knew that not only were our thoughts and feelings an energy that impacted our bodies, but that this thought-energy was being broadcast out into the universe. It is actually a resonant energy with the core of the universe, which quantum physics has discovered is one of harmony, order, compassion, joy, truth, and love.

I have so many stories I could share with you about the practical benefits of reprioritizing your life and doing more of what brings joy. One that stands out for me while working with Dr. Simonton is when a Harvard-educated attorney, who was now diagnosed with terminal cancer, decided to leave his legal practice to become a caddie on the professional golf tour. This was his dream. It took great courage, but we were convinced this was what saved his life.

Another story is when a woman diagnosed with advanced breast cancer attended my wellness classes along with her husband. He was an accountant, and it was Easter and the height of the tax season. They had eight children and they never seemed to be able to all be together as a family anymore. This became their priority and they dropped everything to go away, and all be together for the holiday. I’m certain this was part of her recovery.

I’ll share one last personal story. I’ve had food sensitivities to wheat and dairy for about twenty years. Two years ago, my wife and I went out to dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary and were accidentally served pasta that was not wheat-free. Normally, as a result, I would have a severe reaction by the next day (and up to four days). However, we were shocked when I had no symptoms at all! I decided to meditate for an explanation and was told that the amount of joy I received from building driftwood birdhouses (a hobby I began a year before) overrode my food sensitivities.

When I was spending so much time building the birdhouses, I often thought that I really should be consulting, writing, or teaching about mind-body-spirit medicine. I should be helping people. My great lesson in this was to discover, like I’m advising you, I needed a much better balance in my life between work and having fun.

What keeps you from having more fun?

What brings you great joy? I recommend you take your time right now and think about this. Then see yourself immersed in whatever this is. Feel how good it feels. Let this be your gift to yourself (and others) this holiday season. See it and feel it daily like advent leading up to Christmas. This, of course, will also be a gift to the world – a vibration of harmony with the core truth of the universe.

Nobody else knows your reason for being, but you do. And your bliss guides you to it. When you follow your bliss, when you follow your path to joy, your conversation becomes of joy, your feelings are of joy. You’re right on the path of that which you intended when you came into this physical body.

Every experience every day presents the opportunity for you. Your job is to look for things that are a vibrational match to joy. Let your dominant intent be joyful, to feel good, be playful, have fun, laugh often. Not only will you create a joyous journey for yourself and others, but everything you have ever dreamed of will flow effortlessly into your experience.

Joy to the world!

Historically in psychology there has been a long-standing debate whether our behavior is a product of inheritance (genetic) or conditioning (learned). Most research supports that both interact to influence our health and happiness. My clinical study and experience suggest that other lifetimes (reincarnation) may actually have an even greater effect.My first introduction to reincarnation came from reading the books, Seth Speaks and The Nature of Personal Reality by Jane Roberts in 1972 and 1974. Her many books became a cornerstone of New Age philosophy, along with the channeled books by Edgar Cayce and a Course in Miracles (1975). The 70’s for me were a time of rethinking about almost everything, especially when I met Ken McCaulley.

I first met Ken in 1977 when I attended his self-improvement program. I began to study privately with him and soon became best friends and business partners. We meditated daily and at some point, Ken began to go into a trance-like state and speak a truth and wisdom far beyond his current extensive knowledge and intellect. For the next seven years I spoke daily through Ken with what we called spirit guides and master teachers, who claimed that the primary purpose of life was to learn to love.

Of course, this was confirmed by every major religion and philosophic system, which all believed in the Golden Rule. But I was particularly struck by this being a clear message coming from the research with near-death experiences, also. Psychiatrist Raymond Moody popularized this phenomenon with his 1975 book, Life After Life, but major additional research came from the University of Virginia and professors Ian Stevenson and Jim Tucker who studied thousands of cases of children who report memories of past lives.

I also found books by psychiatrist Brian Weiss, such as Many Lives, Many Masters and Same Soul, Many Bodies, and his extensive experience with hypnosis and past life regression very fascinating. He was given many messages about “life after death; our choosing when we are born and when we die; the sure and unerring guidance of the Masters; lifetimes measured in lessons learned and tasks fulfilled, not in years; charity, hope, faith, love.” This was completely in keeping with what Ken McCaulley and I were told.

I also learned a great deal about love and life due to my work and research with cancer and my book, Why Love Heals. I discovered through the research and book, Character Strengths and Virtues by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman, that the historic dominate spiritual and philosophic traditions had six broad characteristics: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. This raised big questions for me. If life serves the purpose of learning to love, which would include these great virtues, why bother if when you die it’s all over? And is it reasonable to think that this could all be achieved in one lifetime?

Reincarnation is a central tenet of Indian religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism. This includes the conceptual principal of Karma, where it is commonly believed how you act in this life affects your current and future lives; you reap what you sow. However, I would like to clarify this is not about “good” or “bad” or “punishment”. Karma and multiple lifetimes simply give you the opportunity to experience another perspective. It’s a concept of balance and the infinite expression and discovery of who we are.

I’ll give you an example. Once when I was speaking with a master teacher I asked about dealing with my personal anger. I was told to “research it”. So, I asked my dreams that night for an answer and discovered that it was related to another lifetime when I was a Roman soldier. The master teacher confirmed this and said that I chose this lifetime to learn and teach about love as a way to balance and experience another perspective.

In the book, Conversations with God book 1, Karma is explained in terms of your personal and spiritual growth:

…There is no such thing as karmic debt… A debt is something that must or should be repaid. You are not obligated to do anything.“

Still, there are certain things that you want to do; choose to experience, And some of these choices hinge on – the desire for them has been created by – what you have experienced before.

This is as close as words can come to this thing you call karma.

If karma is the innate desire to be better, to be bigger, to evolve and grow, and to look at past events and experiences as a measure of that, then, yes, karma does exist.

But it does not require anything. Nothing is ever required. You are, as always you have ever been, a being of free choice.”

So, when we consider genetics or conditioning as a way of understanding our current circumstances, perhaps you can see how reincarnation can offer additional insights. My clinical experience is that most phobias are related to other lifetime fears. A woman currently extremely afraid of fire discovered she and her family had burned to death in another lifetime. An extreme fear of water was related to having drowned in a shipwreck. A bad marriage was the result of a former terrible relationship.

Rob Schwartz has written and spoken extensively about pre-birth planning and discovering your soul’s life plan. He has found that the benefits of knowing your life purpose include: It gives you insight into the qualities you’re working on in this lifetime. It empowers you to emerge from victim consciousness. You can gain very meaningful information why certain people are in your life, and why some of those relationships are so challenging. You can learn forgiveness, acceptance, and gratitude in regard to the challenges of this lifetime, as well as an understanding of the deeper spiritual meaning, which can create deep healing. And, of course, you can know a greater peace and joy.

Just as I view medical symptoms as benevolent messengers (they’re there to get your attention that something is out of balance) so can you discover the underlying cause and remedy to all of your current concerns by going within and accessing your own inner wisdom. Your subconscious/intuition/soul can’t wait to tell you that you have chosen with great excitement this opportunity to learn and grow.

We have lots of relationships – with our family, partner, friends, colleagues and co-workers, pets, and the world itself. But our first and primary relationship is with ourselves. What do you think about yourself? What do you say to yourself?  You’re with yourself all the time. How do you treat yourself? This will be revealed in all of your relationships. 

From day one we begin to react to our environment, doing our best to adapt and survive. We acquire beliefs from our parents, in particular, about what is right and wrong, who we are, and how we’re supposed to present ourselves to the world. And when we violate any of these learned beliefs, we begin to develop guilt and shame. We develop a “shadow” side of our selves. We try to hide it and deny it, and one way to cope with these uncomfortable feelings is to suppress or repress them and take them out of our conscious memory. Another way is to blame and project what we rejected or denied about ourselves onto others. In psychology this is called scapegoating or projection.

I’d really like you to think about this because if we could look at what we judge about ourselves and others, we could see it as a way to understand ourselves so much better. Truly, like the law of attraction, the people in your life (including your pets and co-workers) are mirrors of you – the good and the bad. It takes courage to accept that what we don’t like about others is what we consciously or subconsciously don’t want to acknowledge in ourselves. And this is how experiences of guilt, shame, and rejection create your “inner critic.”

Your inner critic, like your ego, is simply a survival mechanism doing its best to help you make it in the world. As you experience more and more thoughts and feelings of separation and fear vs. oneness and love, you subconsciously create aspects or subpersonalities of yourself that you come to believe are who you really are. They include your inner critic, rule maker, pleaser, responsible parents, and other selves. These “selves” that you call your personality, were developed by your subconscious, and take over when you’re feeling vulnerable. And your beliefs about who you are will be reflected in your primary relationships in particular. They are your mirrors.

In marriage, for example, you will attract someone who carries your “disowned selves”, the parts you’ve somehow learned are socially unacceptable. I tend to say that you marry your opposite. One of the most common observations I’ve made is that one of you will be significantly more self-centered, and one of you will be more of a nurturer. One of you can’t wait to throw things out, and the other wants to hoard and save. If you really think about this, it can make you wonder why in the world you married this person. You can be so different. The reason is that at an energetic level, you attract others to fill in your void and to balance you. Interestingly, all of the qualities that you are looking for in another are within you. And those who push your buttons, or who you overvalue, are your best teachers. Your beliefs at a vibratory level attracted you to each other. If only we could see our relationships this way, and how we can help one another instead of judging and wanting to change them.

Interestingly, the best way to change them is to change yourself. As you learn to love and accept yourself, it changes your energy, and the way others relate to you. If you change, they have to change also. Believe me, this doesn’t always go smoothly, but the key is your becoming more aware of the truth of who you are and assuming a conscious, caring role in relation to “the inner critic”. Your inner critic can become a special ability to spot problems, and a warning system that you’re out of balance. 

Whenever our repressed feelings get resonated (someone pushes our buttons), subconsciously we worry that our “shadow self,” the side of our personality that contains all the parts that we don’t want to admit to having, will be revealed to ourselves or others. And this is terrifying. So, we use the defense mechanism of projection. We project it onto others as a way to disown the very qualities that we find unacceptable in ourselves.

The truth of it is, however, that we have attracted others into our lives to bring up our stuff. Subconsciously, we want them to bring up our stuff so that we can become fully integrated as a whole person – to love and accept ourselves just the way we are. That person is actually our healing angel. Instead of seeing this person in a negative light, we need to forgive them and ourselves, and express great gratitude for the role they have come to play for us.

So, whenever you find yourself becoming stressed, or your buttons are being pushed, take time as soon as possible to sit down and get in touch with that part of yourself that’s feeling out of sorts. Be in touch with your feelings. Don’t judge them or try to change them. Treat yourself like you would a best friend. If a best friend were struggling and asked for your help, ideally you wouldn’t judge or try to change this person. You would be there for your friend. And whatever it took, you would stay by your friend. That’s what you need to do for yourself. I call it loving yourself. You need to learn to accept and love yourself just like you accept and love best friends. You can see their warts and foibles, and you love them just the same. Similarly, be there for yourself. Do this for yourself. Love yourself.

How do you reach your full potential? How do you create an abundant Life? What is your greatest desire? What is the best version of yourself? In this article I suggest that you already have all the inner resources necessary for your fulfillment.

Another important question relevant to living your full ability and capability is, “Who are you?” My experience is that most people first focus on their physical characteristics and learned roles. You’re a male or female, a certain size, shape, and weight, mother or father, nurse, teacher, carpenter, etc. 

My further experience is that many women in our culture were raised to believe that a primary reason for being and role in life was to marry and raise children. Men’s greatest role and self-esteem came from providing for the family, or their occupation. Of course, these are learned roles. And you are not just your physical body. Eventually you get around to considering your mental, emotional, and spiritual characteristics. You clearly have a mental nature, your ability to think and reason. Your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations are powerful creators of your life experience. Your feelings and emotions, similarly, define and shape who you are. Identifying and meeting your interests, needs, and values are critical for your health, happiness, and peace of mind.

What about the spiritual part of you? Philosophers, poets, prophets, and metaphysicians throughout time have attempted to explain the nature, character, and causes of being and knowing, the existence of God or Supreme Being, and that which is above or beyond the material world. In fact, most people by far believe in an all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful Creator and Source of all life. And, interestingly, all major religious and philosophic systems believe we are one with God and all that is.

Even quantum physics has determined the oneness and connectedness of everything, that the universe is a dynamic web of interconnection. It is one of complete harmony and order with infinite potential that doesn’t take form until consciousness is introduced. There is no “fixed” reality. Physicist, Dr. John Wheeler, calls this a “participatory universe,” and that our observations, expectations, and beliefs literally create our world. What does all of this suggest about your spiritual nature and the ability to create an abundant life?

This suggests to me we need to let go of our learned limitations, and refocus on our inherent nature of goodness, God-ness, worthiness, and ability to create whatever we desire. The power of positive thinking is real, such as proposed by Napoleon Hill in his 1937 book, Think and Grow Rich: “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” I’ve certainly learned about the power of the mind in my studies and experience with guided imagery, hypnosis and other “deliberate intention” techniques.

In my psychology training I also learned about Dr. Carl Rogers and his belief that people have a natural capacity for growth and development beyond their intellect and socialization. The individual is basically good and will develop satisfactorily if given the opportunity and support in dealing with the stresses of life. The person has an innate self-actualizing tendency. 

Psychologist Abraham Maslow was best known for identifying what he called a hierarchy of needs and how one can achieve self-actualization, a state of harmony and understanding in achieving the fullest use of one’s talents and interests. This included the need for transcendence and addressing one’s spiritual needs for integrity, altruism, and connecting with the infinite and the very highest level of consciousness.

Psychologist Martin Seligman was highly influenced by this positive psychology movement and focus on a higher human nature. He discovered that there are six dominate spiritual and philosophical traditions and broad core characteristics of virtue: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. The psychological ingredients that define transcendence include appreciation of beauty, gratitude, hope, humor, and spirituality.

The point here is to encourage you to embrace possibility and to know that you have unlimited potential to create a life of abundance and fulfillment. I used to joke that if I could create a new diagnostic code for physical and mental disorders, it would be called “Forgotten Identity.” We have forgotten the truth of who we are and our connection to our eternal Essential Nature. We need to stop the self-criticism and learn to forgive ourselves for not living up to some learned, arbitrary ideal that comes from our parents, community, and culture.

We need to balance these external influences with living our inner world. I strongly encourage you to go within, to meditate and connect with your Greater Being, your Source. In accessing this deeper, wiser aspect of who we are, we can transform our mind of conditioned thoughts and beliefs. We can protect ourselves from so much of the current world chaos by living from the inside out. Everything you want and need is already inside you. You are inherently connected to the greatest source of knowledge there is. Now is the time to discover and release your spiritual power.